I want to be a good blogger. I really do! But I have a full-time job and a lot of stress at home, so it's hard to find the time and energy, not only to write, but to even think sometimes. Most of the bloggers I admire the most do this full-time, or they work from home. I just can't afford to do that, and I struggle with feeling "not-good-enough". I don't post often enough, my posts are boring, my life is boring, I have nothing to write about, blah, blah, blah. I'm sure even the most successful bloggers have felt the same things more than once. I know I'm not alone in this.
I have no great aspirations for this blog, but I want so badly to communicate and share with other people, which I find hard to do face-to-face. The written word has always been easiest and most natural for me as a means of connecting with other people. When I'm face-to-face with people, I always end up blushing and stumbling over my words. I can feel them staring at me and I can sense their thoughts: "What's wrong with her? Why is she so weird?" OK, maybe I'm projecting my insecurities onto other people.
Enough of this for now. I hate complaining; it irritates me. I try to focus on the present moment, as much as possible. Right now, summer is on its way (or it's already here...temps are already in the 80s), I have a new book coming in the mail tomorrow, I've been reconnecting on a book forum I used to frequent, and I've started writing letters to an online friend who lives in England. Yes, actual letters! My partner is embarking on a new career in IT, our rent is low, we have two precious guinea pigs, and I'm making myself scrambled eggs in the morning. There are so many blessings in my life! Yes, it can be easy to get sidetracked by obstacles and hardships, but take a quick look around, and it's even easier to see all the little, joyous things in life.
Here are some things I've been reading, watching, and doing:
- I'm totally obsessed with this TV show...I've always loved mysteries!
- Here is my first weaving project! I can't wait to get more materials to make more!
- If you like scary stories, like I do, this is a really good one!
- I love 1920s fashion, and this is one of the best online galleries I've never seen!